I experienced three ectopic pregnancies and emergency surgery in 2024 – one in January, one in June, and the final one in December, while we were on holiday in New York. We’d been trying to conceive for 14 months before getting our first positive test. Now, after losing both Fallopian tubes, I can no longer conceive naturally and we don’t yet have any living children.
I started therapy in January this year, and one of the first things my therapist suggested was to write letters to the babies I’ve lost. I had already written one, a poem I put together in August 2023 when I couldn’t sleep on the eve of what would have been our baby’s due date.
This is that poem.
Our Little Spark Of Joy
A little tiny spark of joy, the start of a small dream.
A secret we had barely told, a new member of our team.
A month or two of making plans, “last Christmas as a two”,
A hope that after all this time, there’d finally be a you.
No cheese, no steak, no runny eggs, no New Year’s glass of wine,
But it’s okay, I’ll give it up as long as you are mine.
And then, a night of whispered wishes, hoping that you’d be alright.
But soon, time came to close my eyes and say our last goodnight.
You’re still a tiny spark of joy, our hopeful brand new start,
But now the only place we carry you is always in our heart.
We hope there’ll be a future, we hope it’s not the end. We hope you’ll have a sibling who will help our hearts to mend.
We hope that sometime soon we’ll meet our little girl or boy,
And we can tell them all about you, our little spark of joy ✨
Thank you to Amie for sharing her story and beautiful poem for Ectopic Pregnancy Awareness Day.
If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, please visit our guide for more information.
Please remember our support services are available at any time.