What I wish more people knew about ectopic pregnancy is just how heartbreaking it is – being pregnant but knowing it can’t go any further. There’s this awful emotional conflict: your body is telling you you’re pregnant, but then you find out it’s not a pregnancy that can survive.
When we first went for the scan and were told it was an ectopic pregnancy, we didn’t even really understand what that meant. I don’t think there’s enough information or awareness out there, and to be hit with that kind of news in such a sudden and clinical way is terrifying. You’re trying to understand something you’ve barely even heard of, while also trying to process what it means for you.
During my first ectopic pregnancy, I was initially treated with methotrexate, but unfortunately, it didn’t work. My pregnancy hormone levels kept rising and became dangerously high. Surgery was scheduled, but before it could happen, the pregnancy ruptured that same night. It was the most excruciating pain I’ve ever felt. I had emergency surgery to remove the affected Fallopian tube.
So when I experienced a second ectopic pregnancy, I was petrified. Although this time methotrexate was successful, it wasn’t straightforward. I had to return to the hospital every few days to monitor my hormone levels, hoping they would finally come down. That waiting period was emotionally draining. Methotrexate also made me feel so unwell, completely wiped out, both physically and mentally. I didn’t feel like myself for a long time.
Having two ectopic pregnancies is rare, and it’s taken me a long time to come to terms with them. They weren’t just medical emergencies, they were emotional losses too.
There were also moments when I felt guilty for talking about my experience. I already have two wonderful boys I adore, and I worried what people might think. But the love and gratitude I have for my boys is unmatched, and the decision to try for another child wasn’t something taken lightly. That being taken away was never what I expected.
I hope that by sharing my story, others feel less alone, and more people begin to understand how hard an ectopic pregnancy can be, and how much better informed and supported people need to be when it happens.
Thank you to Shelby for sharing her experience with us for Ectopic Pregnancy Awareness Day. If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, please visit our guide for more information.
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